The SEC In A Sentence: It Could Have Been Worse (And Probably Will Be)

Welcome to the SEC in a Sentence, in which I take the entire seven course gourmet meal that is a weekend of SEC football, stuff it in a paper sack, and toss it in your open car windows while insincerely telling you to have a nice day.

Bulldog fans are understandably concerned following the Dawgs’ 28-6…we’re going to say “win” against Austin Peay. But if this weekend taught us anything it’s that there are worse fates than playing disjointed football against an FCS opponent.

Alabama: The Tide managed to even up their long running rivalry with Louisiana-Monroe.

Arkansas: Unfortunately if Sam Pittman keeps this up he may not be available to rebuild the Georgia offensive line next year. 

Auburn: A 42-3 win over Ball State is worth about as much as a degree from Auburn, which is to say, not a whole lot. 

Florida: Spit in one hand, count on a Billy Napier-coached football team to play disciplined football, and see which fills up first. 

Georgia: This game was further proof that the difference between everything falling into place and everything falling apart is never more than a handful of days.

Kentucky: Honestly, is there any way that game could have ended in anything other than Wildcat disappointment?

LSU: I’m not sure a 23-7 victory over Louisiana Tech is any better than a 28-6 win over Austin Peay.

Mississippi State: Bye, bye Ms. American Pie, Jeff Lebby tried to screw that up, then made the Sun Devils cry.

Oklahoma: Earned a solid home win over a Michigan team with a freshman starting quarterback who probably shouldn’t have been in the top 15, but that isn’t the Sooners’ fault.

Ole Miss: Only nearly imploded against Kentucky this year, which is actually an improvement.

Missouri: Stepped out of conference and beat Kansas for a win that means more to Mizzou fans than most SEC fans may realize.

South Carolina: Watching the South Carolina offense with LaNorris Sellers at the helm is like putting Gordon Ramsey in a kitchen stocked with only pickles, pixie sticks, and expired cheese whiz.

Tennessee: Sure it was East Tennessee State, but 72 points against anyone means things are working offensively, which must be nice.

Texas: The Longhorns played sloppy football in a 38-7 win over San Jose State, a result which isn’t far and away better than a 28-6 win over Austin Peay.

Texas A&M: Committed some Aggie on Aggie violence against Utah State, but now face a step up in competition against Notre Dame.

Vanderbilt: Your undefeated 2-0 Vanderbilt Commodores are a win against South Carolina this weekend away from realistically rolling into Tuscaloosa as your 5-0 Vanderbilt Commodores come October 4th.